SOFT 60 CHALLENGE

 The "Soft 60" Challenge

The "Soft 60" Challenge is a flexible, 60-day self-improvement program designed as a more compassionate and sustainable alternative to highly rigid challenges like the "75 Hard."

It focuses on building long-term, healthy habits through a set of daily commitments, without the strict "all-or-nothing" mentality. The emphasis is on consistency and being kind to yourself rather than aiming for perfection.

Common Daily Habits

The specific rules can vary by person or online community, but generally the challenge involves incorporating a few simple habits for 60 days. These often include:

• Mindful Movement: Engaging in physical activity, typically for at least 30 to 60 minutes a day. The "soft" part means this can be a gentle walk, stretching, or a workout that you enjoy, not necessarily a high-intensity session.
• Reading/Reflection: Reading a certain number of pages (e.g., 5-10 pages) or a specific amount of time (e.g., 20 minutes) of a book, or spending a few minutes journaling or reflecting.
• Hydration: Drinking a specific amount of water daily (e.g., 2 liters or 80 oz).
• Nourishing Diet: Focusing on "eating well in general" rather than following a strict, restrictive diet. This might involve limiting processed sugar or alcohol, but allows for flexibility and occasional treats.
• Connection and Joy: Intentionally performing an act of connection with others (texting a friend, calling a family member) or doing something that brings you joy each day.

Key Philosophy

The core idea is to create lasting change without the stress and pressure that can lead to burnout. By focusing on small, manageable steps and allowing for minor slip-ups (without derailing the whole challenge), participants are more likely to build resilience and habits that feel good and stick long after the 60 days are over

GENTLE LIVING

 The gentle living lifestyle is an intentional approach to life that prioritizes kindness, mindfulness, and balance over constant busyness and productivity. It's about slowing down to appreciate simple joys and living in alignment with one's values and the natural world. 

Core Principles

• Slowing Down: This is a central tenet, emphasizing a deliberate pace in all activities, from eating a meal to walking in nature, to reduce stress and enjoy the present moment.
• Prioritizing "Being" over "Doing": The lifestyle encourages valuing rest, reflection, and simply existing over constant achievement and a relentless "hustle culture".
• Self-Compassion and Kindness: Treating oneself with understanding, patience, and warmth is fundamental. This includes setting healthy boundaries and accepting imperfections as part of personal growth.
• Mindfulness and Presence: Cultivating awareness of the present moment allows for a deeper appreciation of life's details and a reduction in anxiety about the past or future.
• Meaningful Connections: Nurturing authentic and supportive relationships with others is highly valued, fostering a sense of belonging and emotional support.
• Simplicity and Quality: Gentle living often involves decluttering physical and mental spaces and choosing quality over quantity, whether in possessions, food, or experiences.
• Connection with Nature: Aligning one's life with natural rhythms and spending time outdoors is encouraged to promote well-being and a sense of grounding. 

Practices and Benefits

Adopting a gentle living lifestyle involves small, intentional shifts in daily routines. 

Practices:

• Start mornings with intention: Begin the day with a few calm minutes of stretching, gratitude, or quiet reflection instead of rushing into emails or to-do lists.
• Eat mindfully: Savor meals without distraction, focusing on the taste and nourishment, and opting for simple, healthy foods.
• Schedule intentional breaks: Incorporate short pauses throughout the day, like a few minutes of deep breathing or a brief walk, to recharge.
• Practice digital detox: Set boundaries for technology use, such as having screen-free evenings or weekends, to reduce mental clutter and reconnect with the real world.
• Engage in hobbies/rituals: Dedicate time to activities that bring joy and fulfillment, such as reading, gardening, or creative pursuits.
• Speak softly, especially to yourself: Practice kind and constructive self-talk and communicate with others using a calm, patient, and respectful tone. 

Benefits:

• Reduced stress and anxiety: The deliberate pace and focus on rest help manage stress levels and promote a calm demeanor.
• Improved mental clarity: Creating space in your life for reflection and mindfulness can lead to better focus, creativity, and decision-making.
• Enhanced well-being: Prioritizing self-care, sleep, and nourishing food improves both physical and mental health.
• Deeper relationships: Being fully present with loved ones strengthens connections and fosters empathy and understanding.
• Increased fulfillment: Finding joy in simple moments and aligning actions with personal values leads to a richer, more meaningful life.

I'm not disappointed.

 I am not disappointed anymore.  I tried and you did not deserve the trying. 

It was not me who needed to put the effort in, it was you.  I found the person that I love and you were never my responsibility.  I gave you time, care, focus and checked in.  I was consistent.

You insulted him.  You insulted me.  You insulted the young hearts.  You put you first and that is not something I can allow any longer.

I will continue to be happy, but I will have fresh space to offer to my personal goals, to my loved ones, to my life.

I have allowed your chapter to end.  You are one chapter in one of my books.  You are not the book.  The story keeps moving forward without you.

Replacing

 I've been replacing things.  I replaced tight waistbands for soft materials.  I replaced conversing in circles that are negative with silence.  I replaced considering what other parents were doing with cheering on my kids in whatever direction they go, whatever style they have.  I replaced hustle with naps.  I replaced climbing the ladder with being happy with how far I have come.

There is more because I am becoming right now.  I am becoming who I was never allowed to be.

Monster

 The monster was me

I feel her tell me that I can do what I want

But every time it goes badly

The monster was me

She is strong at work and weak at home

She doesn't say what she means

She isn't sure who she is

She is medicated now and the veil is lifting

Maybe the monster is just a regular woman

Who never really knew she needed help

And fought to feel normal

And it exhausted her and now she is resting under the gentle assistance of medication

She is not a monster.  She is just sad, and confused and never had a chance

Until now

Augusts are like that.

August has begun.  This summer has felt fast.  Summers do that sometimes.

I am excited to have my family to myself for a couple weeks,  trips to the lake, basketball tournaments, and the noisy hustle and bustle of a family of 4 under the same roof.  I tend to get a little pre-nostalgic, considering how short term having kids in your home is.  How they keep growing and you stay an adult.  They change, baby, toddler, grade school, preteen...then on to teenager and adult.  We will still be us, mom and dad.  They will be whole new people out in the world and we will redefine our lives in the next adventure.

I asked my husband if he realized that the bulk of our time as a couple has been as parents.They are 12 and we have been married for 16 years.  We married quickly (eloped!) and wanted kids right away, but it took a while...and the assistance of modern medicine...to become parents of beautiful boy-girl twins.  I remember thinking that it was taking so long, and now I feel so lucky to have had those years of just us.  throwing themed parties and being chaotic.  Taking trips with only one bag each. Sleeping in, training for half marathons, meeting at the gym after work, eating out 4 nights a week.  There were no rules or budgets.  

Well, August is here.  We usually get a lot of wildfires, the hay gets harvested behind our home and the cattle come back for the fall/winter to graze and keep me company.  the kids will each

grow an inch this summer and in a few weeks I will start thinking about pulling my sweaters out so I can be warm driving the kids to school.  I will need to consider lunch foods for everyone and make sure I have schedules and alarms set to ensure everyone gets to where they need to be. 

 I will write a funny store next time, but for today it is August 1st.  I awoke to fog and drizzle, but it will be 85 degrees today and we will have thunderstorms at night.  I will start thinking about baking bread and crockpot recipes.  August does that to me.  I will try to capture 2-3 weeks of joy until then.

Love, Mrs M.

 

Welcome to the Blog

 Hi everyone,  I have been meaning to get on and stretch my writing muscles for a while but you know how it is...am I interesting enough?  Am I wasting space in the ether putting posts up? Well, who knows but I thought I would get back into writing and see how it goes.  The more you write, the better you feel so lets have beans for every meal!  (this is not boding well)

Anyhooooozies, we have a crazy president who is beyond questionable ethically and the largest ever recorded earthquake occurred yesterday in Russia.  There are a few wildfires here in Montana and of course, I am a mother of 2, married and sitting on my back deck spinning out sentences as if it makes any fucking difference.  Newsflash:  it does not.

I am 54.  How did that happen?  I live in Montana in a quiet part of the world.  I love to garden, do yoga, raise my kids, and be a wife to an extremely handsome man.  I definitely pulled one over on him.  Married for 16 years and no plan to change that until I die.

Today....hmmm, well I watched some videos on pasta making and I thought....why not?  So maybe I will be making pasta.  This is NOT a how to blog, but I might add some recipes because food is my love language.  To the world, to my family, to my belly.  Food is how we live.  Food is life.

That is all for the first post.  I hope I can post often but we will just start with this.  Hi.  Hello, welcome!

Love, Messy Mrs, M